tb, tabs n. cigarettes cf. tay, Oobtay and Oob (no defs yet sorry)

taco, taco bell n. penis

taco (going for a... ) v. slipping the face between a womans thighs ready to begin oral sex on her. c.f. carpet licker USA

tag, tig n. a game, which at its simplest involves the person chosen to be "it" first, running around trying to touch or "tag" another member of those playing the game. When touched... or tagged... that person becomes "it" until in their turn they touch another. In most cases the person no longer "it" can either retire from the game for a rest, or be enlisted by the new "it" person to help "tag" the others until there are no more. The winner is the last one to avoid being be "tagged". There are an infinite number of variations, some of which ar noted elsewhere on these pages, e.g. the slightly more violent "British Bulldog". Other "variations" and "optional rules" are such as these from New Zealand:

  • Optional rule to alleviate all-out touching/poking/slapping wars between two embroiled parties trying to out-tag each other: Not allowed to tag your master (who is the person who tagged you). This rule means you need at least three people.
  • Brand ball: Game where one participant throws a tennis ball against a wall lined with other participants as hard as he can. The other participants naturally try to dodge, and take their turn with the ball when hit.
  • Variation: Ball tiggie. (Variation: Brand-ball tiggie, like brand ball except running all over the place. Ow.) - also known as Brandy Tiggie in North Western Melbourne schools
  • The Stage: The three level wooden climbing thing (with pole!) we played tiggie on at Hay Park Primary School (Auckland, New Zealand). (That particular school didn't have a school hall, or, it follows, a proper theatrical-type stage _in_ the school hall, so the Stage didn't have any competition for name).
  • Tigged: Past tense of tig.
    cf. British Bulldog, Stuck in the Mud

    (1) tail (2) (get some... ) n. (1) a womans rear. (2) to have sexual relations.

    tampax n. 1) A hilarious female hygiene product. 2) An excessively stupid or unpleasant person.

    Tammy Fight n. Yearly ritual on the way home from school after the Tampax lady comes round to do her feminine hygiene talk. UK (SE)

    tankie adj. derog. derogatory name used to describew an obese person, i.e. "built like a tank". UK

    tarman n. tampon

    tart n. derog. 1) a female ( occas. male) of assumed "loose morals" 2) A stupid or inept person. UK (SE)

    tater n. potato f. abbr. UK (SE)

    tat, tats n. breasts "Gonna grab 'er tats breaktime!!. UK (NE)

    tattle-tale, tattler n. A child in the habit of "telling" frequently and generally only for the purpose of making him/herself look superior...is a tattle-tale. cf. fink, dob US

    tatty n. potato UK (Sc)

    tax 1) v. 2) n. 1) To take without permission, to steal. 2) A theft, stolen stuff. UK (SE)

    TB n. abbr. Tidy Boiler - an attractive young lady

    teachers pet n. someone who seemed to be given unreasonably favourable treatment by a teacher cf. swat, swot UK

    teapot n. effeminate homosexual f. the song "I'm a little teapot short and stout...". Perform the dance that goes with it, and when you get to the part about "here's my handle, here's my spout" think about it or look at yourself in a mirror. UK

    tecks n. testicles (prob. an abbreviation). used as "Shit, watch me Tecks!" Contributor said this (and "goozies" were quite popular where he used to live - maybe this is just Cannock Slang and no-one else outside South Staffs knows it. Fairly well used though circa. early 1990's UK (N. Mid.)

    telling n. Consists of alerting the authorities (grownups) to some crime committed by a fellow child. Most common phrase: "I'm telling!" (often said in a really whiney way with the first syllable draw out) cf. dob, tattle-tale UK (Wa)

    tenner n. a large marble of around 30mm in diameter, and highly sought after. Could be glass or steel (a 'tenner steely') cf. alley bomper, dobber UK

    Ten-Pence-Mix n.. a pre-prepared mix of sweets worth 1 or 2 pence each that added up to 10 pence. Normally supplied in a small paper bag. cf. lucky bag UK

    Tefal adj. person with remarkably high forhead, bald person ( from Adverts on tv whose actors were shown with have "high" foreheads cf. Mekon, Spam Head, Slap Head circa. 1980's UK (NE)

    Tesco's adj. A playground taunt in the form of a song sung to the tune of the "conga" i.e. "Let's all go to Tesco's where [Johnny, Marky, whatever] gets his best clothes, a la la la, a la la la! Taunt implies the tauntees parents couldn't afford 'swish' stuff. Note: for those outside the UK that don't know, Tesco's is a huge supermarket chain which was at one time "famous" for selling cheap imported clothing of dubious quality. As an aside, I always understood that the company had been named after the founders wife - Tess Cohen, but from another source (Michael Oliver) I learn it was in fact created from a combination of TES (from T.E. Stockwell, Cohen's partner) and CO (from CO-hen)). You live and learn! UK

    Thatcher Years adj. A time of abject poverty for masses of citizens of the UK despite billions of dollars flowing into the Treasury coffers from oil revenue. (ed: Anyone want to expand on this definition??) UK

    The Land is Yours Oh God. n. People used to sing the opening line of this school hymn:

    The land is yours oh God,
    You nourish it with rain.

    This was popular because if sang in a certain manner, an all too obvious expletive could be constructed:

    The land is yours oh god,
    You nouriSH IT with rain.

    The word SHIT was over emphasised and everyone at Ley Hill Middle School (Sutton Coldfield) was in on the joke... thus making for particularly amusing assemblies. c.f. Gladly My Cross-Eyed Bear UK (Mid)

    thick as two short planks n. stupid, not very bright cf. two-dicks UK

    Three and in n. A game where you had to score three goals past the keeper to then suffer the torment of the other 15 kids hammering the ball at you. Normally played with a goal painted on a school wall.

    thugby n. version of rugby where a soccer ball was used. No scrums tho, plenty of rucks, mauls, general mayhem etc. Similar to murder ball circa. 1980's UK (NE)

    thump n. A punch (usu. a hard blow to the upper arm).

    thunderthighs adj. description of a female with large fat or "thick" legs. c.f. keg-legs UK

    tick-off-ground n. avoidance of becoming "it" in game of tag or tick by being off-ground. cf. off ground touch

    tidy n. not bad, good, e.g. "That's a tidy piece of work you've done there! Well done!" UK (Wa)

    Tig, tiggy n. Lincolnshire (UK) equiv of "It". One person runs around and "tigs" the other person who is now "on". Variations include "Tiggy Off Ground" (you're safe if your feet are off the ground) "Chain Tig": the people who are "on" have to run around whilst holding hands "Stuck In The Mud": When "tigged" you have to stand still legs akimbo unless someone else crawls between your legs without being caught himself. UK (Mid)

    tight n. (1) cool, or awesome. (2) grossly unfair , USA

    tight-arse, tight-wad n. notoriously mean or "tight fisted" person, i.e. unwilling to part with cash even when it's their turn to pay. Can be used as adjective, as in "He's a tight-arsed git!". UK

    tin-can-through-the-legs, killer can (in London area) n. 1) A game in which a tin can is kicked and aimed between the legs of opposing players. A successful "goal" results in beatings administered to the player who was "scored" through. UK (SE)

    tin-grin n. rude name for someone wearing braces on their teeth cf. brace-face, metal-mouth US

    tipsies n. part of game of 'slaps'. Called by the slapper in a game of slaps to refer to the fact that although the slapee moved his hands out of the way, the slapper's finger-tips caught the victim's hands, thereby entitling the slapper to another shot. (Question: who played the 'free slap' rule, where if the slappee flinched 3 times when the slapper was bluffing, you got a free slap?) cf. slaps, knuckles UK (I. of Man)

    tish n. Tish is the slang for cuntish and can be used in a variety of ways. Something or someone can be tished, or can look tish, equally, you can also tish yourself. It's a great word that is extremely versatile and can be said to casue maximum confusion with out offending anyone. (ed: this was quoted verbatim, but 'tish' was originally just a relatively polite way of saying 'shit'. The letters were just reversed. UK

    (blue...) tit n. Alternate name for a British Policeman's helmet. f. pointy shape with nipple like protruberance on top (Also used on The Young Ones TV show, c. 1983 when Neil joins the Force. "Come in Neil, take the tit off your head" (Warlock, episode "Cash") circa. 1980's to date UK (M)

    tit-head n. derog. rude name for a policeman f. their hats which are a pointy shape with nipple like protruberance on top circa. ??? - to date UK

    tits n. breasts (female). used as in "show us yer tits then!!" and "tits oot fer the lads then" shouted at any passing girls (this was in the days when sexual harrassment was a game rather than a crime) UK

    tits-up (gone... ) n. description for a mistake or error of epic proportions. e.g. "Let's get out of here boss -- it's all gone tits-up!", Contributor has no idea where this one comes from, just knows it's pretty common across the country and has been since they were a child. circa. 1980's UK

    tit spanners n. hands "Keep your tit spanners off my lunch!" circa 1970's S. Africa

    titty (tough... ) n. hard luck US

    titty twister n. To grab a nipple and twist violently. c.f. purple nurple etc. USA

    toast n. Form of taunting used when classmate loses a game, answers something wrong and is said in a drawn out way, therefore making it more annoying. Often accompanied by saying Burn, in the same manner, for effect.. circa. 1980's USA (Cal)

    toby n. derog. a homosexual (ed: with apologies to Lisa who says she has many friends called Toby, few of whom are homosexual)

    todger, tadger n. euphamism for penis circa. 1950's onwards UK

    toe jam n. yukky smelly stuff that results from athletes foot

    togger n. soccer (association football) circa. 1960's UK (M)

    toley n. essentially a toley is a jobby and the application of the word means that insults follow like jobby/shit/shite. A classic dignity stripper.

    However, toley is rather more personalised and is perversely more effective for being less abrasive. Whereas 'shit' may in some cases be construed as good (the classic 'this is good shit man') there is no positive derviation of toley - it is wholly negative in its connotation!

    Toley is a word that is often used to greatest effect as part of a more creative insulting ramble e.g "Fuckin' useless toley prick" in much the same way as 'Jesus' as an exclamation is used e.g. "Jesus sufferin' fuck" (ed: so now you know!) c.f. jobby UK

    Tommy Tank n. Rhyming slang for masturbation, i.e. Tommy Tank = wank. derived from the children's TV programme 'Thomas The Tank Engine'. circa. 1980's UK (Mid)

    tonk-on, tonking-on n. v. To fight (to tonk-on). Used in Australian Rules Football typically, but can be applied to any fight. Tonk-on is a verb, tonking-on an adjective, circa. 2000 AUS

    tonsil hockey n. a passionate form of "french kissing", i.e. a form of mouth to mouth contact which includes the intertwining of tongues so forcefully that one can be said to be pushing it literally against the partners tonsils. c.f. french kissing circa. 1960's UK

    tool adj. (1) Euphemism for penis. (2) A fool, an idiot, Derogatory comment used in some parts of Australia used since about 1996. Used internationally for 50 years or more. f. (2) derives from (1) as per "dick" insult. AU

    Topital n. high level of happiness and exleration: as in response to the question "How are you feeling?", the answer would be "Just Topital", USA

    torpedo n. a male penis which is wide at the bas and gradually becomes skinnier as you move toward the head USA

    totty n. attractive female cf. tidy boiler UK

    toss arse n. a tosser (person who masturbates frequently) f. TOSS + ARSE

    tosspot n. wanker (a person who masturbates)

    towel 'ead n. derog. 1) Person (usu. of middle-eastern origin) wearing traditional head-dress. 2) A person suspected of doing this (i.e. wearing headgear) when nobody is looking.

    tpt n. derog. abbreviation of "trailer park trash" - i.e. poor and possibly married to your father/mother/brother/sister US

    Trev adj. A stereotypical brain-dead teenage yob, usually wearing baggy jeans and a bomber jacket and carrying a record bag, often with a 'Technics' logo. circa. 1990's UK (SW)

    trick n. A punter, a chump, i.e. the customer of a prostitute. Has now become an insult in its own right. USA

    Tricolore n. Not really 'slang' but interesting nevertheless - quoted verbatim:

    "Not exactly a word, this was the French textbook loads of people learnt French from. There were a number of things we found amusing such as the guy who always asked "Est-ce-qu'il-y-a un Banc pres d'ici?" in a voice so deep it made Mr Bean sound like Joe Pasquali. The reason for this we realised must be due to the fact that the Tricolore audio cassetes were recorded by two blokes, and since any women's voices were just a bloke talking in a high-pitched voice, they had to make the blokes obvious, and consequently they all had deep voices.

    This was not helped by the fact that our French tapes were all played on the standard "School-Issue" Coomber cassete player with a big black woven-grille front and a wooden back with holes drilled in it. These cassete players invariably resonated erratically no matter what kind of sound was being played.

    Some common Tricolore Phrases:

  • "Comment????"
  • "Oui, Madamme, il-y-a une Banc la-bas."
  • "Numero UN!!!, Sex-ion A!!!! EX-OM-PLUH!!!"

    Of course, all our books dated back to the seventies so when I was at school in the mid nineties you couldn't see the photos due to the "modifications" that other students had made over the years. remember the Woman-With-The-Petrol-Pump photo was the most graffitied. UK

    trouser snake (the one eyed.... ) n. the penis Aus

    truant (play) n. be absent from school without permission cf. skive off, slam off, mitch, bunk off

    truprint n. to press the sole of your shoe against the black trousers of your mate, thus leaving behind a perfect dusty footprint. cf. dustpatch UK

    truth-or-dare n. A game, usually played at slumber parties but sometimes at recess, in which players are given the option of "truth" or "dare". If they choose truth, they must answer any question that posed to them (usually something along the lines of "who do you like"), if they choose dare they must do whatever action someone tells them to.

    Rules (from USA):
    The person whose turn it is, has the choice of either truth, where he or she gets asked a question from the other players, dare, where he person is dared to do something without a penalty if refused, double dare, where if refused there is a penalty, or promise to repeat, with a penalty if refused. The penalty if a double dare is refused is usually a very hard two-finger slap on the wrist, whic is licked before the slap. The penalty for promise to repeat is first a double dare, and if that is also refused, the double dare penalty comes to affect. You cannot repeat an option or end the game until all the options are chosen by each person at least once, thus everyone experiences the double dare at least once.

    Tunnel of Death n. a part of any ball game where some spaz/joey luzzed the ball out of the playground into the main road and the rest would line up facing the wall, forming a tunnel with their arms. The afore-mentioned spaz/ball loser would then have to journey through the tunnel whilst having the crap kicked out of them.

    turd burgler n. a male homosexual

    twag v. To play truant cf. bunk, mitch, skive twag lady circa. late 1970's UK (NE)

    twag lady (man) v. someone who drives round looking for truants! circa. late 1970's UK (NE)

    twang-twang v. assertion of conceit in another (accompanied by flicking imaginary moustache). circa. 1970's UK (SE)

    twerp n. inbecile or idiot, an old and relatively inoffensive term. UK

    twert n. used in "what's your fantasy" by Ludacris. it means the act of making love. (ed: no idea what this is or who Ludacris is, but the word sounded good!) USA

    two-dicks adj. derog. an idiot, a very stupid person, used to describe a person who is such a wanker he must have two dicks as one wouldn't be enough to make him that bad. (ed: first heard this about my brother-in-law, and would you believe he was proud of the label?? Geez!!) cf. thick as two short planks AUS

    twat n. vulg. 1) The female vagina. 2) An excessively stupid or unpleasant person.

    twatman n. An excessively stupid or unpleasant person. f. BATMAN + TWAT

    twitchell n. Alley way between two houses UK (NW)

    twixies n. to be made exempt from being "it" or "had" in chase games. fleas-inject, squitsies

    two-ball screwball n. Ice cream with bubblegum in the bottom in a Dalek-shaped plastic cone. Filthy name, and rumoured to contain LSD.

    twocker, twok, twoc adj. Orig. meant car thief, often 'ram raider' or 'joyrider' (from police term Taken Without Owners Consent) but eventually just meant anyone a bit dodgy, as in "he's a bit of a twocker, but he's alright". circa. 1989 UK (NE)

    twoonie adj. A two dollar coin. Since it was created after the "loonie" it was dubbed the twoonie. c.f. loonie CAN

    Two World Wars n. It wasn't unusual for our school to have foreign exchange students on a fairly regular basis. If it was learnt that any of these children were German, they were pointed at and had the following song chanted at them:

    Two world wars and one world cup,
    doo dah, doo dah.
    Two world wars and one world cup,
    doo dah, doo dah day.

    This was more than likely a football song. Aston Villa fans currently sing "HUNDRED YEARS AND WON FUCK ALL" about Birmingham City, using the same tune. It is important to realise that rather than just being racist, the song gained a specific potency in the aftermath of the 1990 world cup. No doubt it was trotted out after Euro '96 also, but this needs confirming! circa 1980's UK